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獨一無二

I love 羅志祥 ttm!

JAE Posting Results

“MOE: LIM MING SHI, you are posted to NGEE ANN POLY, PHARMACY SCIENCE (N73) under 2011 JAE.”

The above message was received at 6.19am on 26 of January 2011.

Am I screwed?

My dream, OH WELL, I can FORGET ALL ABOUT IT.

Please forgive me, for I am about to do this:

_l_

Thank you.

I don’t get it lor, Biotech got 70 slots and it was my 3rd choice and I didn’t get in whereas this course got only 45 slots and it was my 4th choice and I bloody hell got in. FYI, both courses have the SAME COP okay.

SINGLE POINTERS. Must be them.

LOL.

Life is short

I am in my late teens and it only felt as though it was yesterday that I started puberty and wearing the blue uniform and getting all excited about Secondary school life.

I must say, I have grown and learn a lot over the 5 years in Commonwealth. My way of thinking, the type of language used (haha) has changed a lot too.

Things that I used to get damn upset and uptight about seem child’s play to me now. I start to think a lot about my future and continually trying to improve myself to become a better person.

I used to type in weird funny “twit” language. -.- hahaha, those were the days. I don’t really miss those days where I would “pon” lessons with friends to loiter in the toilet, defying the teachers, not handing up homework on purpose and all the shit. It sounds stupid when said aloud but apparently 3 years ago, it seems fun and “cool” (pftt). Yeah, you’ve got it. I was the “ah-lian” wannabe.

& believe it a not, band saved me. My two dear friends saved me from becoming them. It was the long hours of band practices that I had plus the awesome people I made friends with that made me go for band instead of hanging around and loitering after school. Well, I had my fair share of “ponning” band practices, but I am glad that I was able to get back on track and survive till today without becoming a total whore.

Come to think of it, I think I always end up talking how awesome my band is. -.- I am sounding boring and lame already.

Basically, life is short and I am feeling old. Especially when I see all those kids in uniform around me when I am out. Treasure you secondary school life and make full use out of it. And yeah, STUDY HARD. (LOL)

WEDNESDAY.

 

Self doubts

I have always been a humanities type of person. I am good at humanities, I did well in my humanities subjects in school.

So, is it wrong to be truly interested in doing Science? I love science as much as I love humanities, but my science is always that one notch below my humanities subject.

I worked very hard for my science subjects to be where I am today. But, I am afraid that I cannot make it or unable to do as well as the people in my course in poly. One reason is that I don’t take pure science so I have a lot of chapters and details that I haven’t covered in secondary school. Second being that I don’t even take biology in secondary school.

I am just afraid that I might not take the stress of having to work extra hard and needing to do a lot of other extra curriculum work so that it would be easier for me to get into university in the future. I am just afraid that as much as I love science, I just may not be cut out for this field.

I am good at doing sales, I am good at humanities and all. But, I just cannot see myself working in the business industry or the service industry.

I enjoy my lab sessions very much in secondary school, that said, I screwed up quite a bit in my lab sessions as well. -.- Hence, the many self doubts and crap. Seriously, I cannot even handle the simple Chemistry and Physics lab lessons well, who am I to say that I can handle biology lab lessons without screwing up?

Yeah, I did well in my science no doubt but it’s still not that ONE on my certificate. But I got the ONE for my Combined Humanities.

Therefore, even after the submission of the JAE form and all, I am starting to feel scared and doubting myself for if the choice I have made for myself is right for me. Am I cut out to do science?

Actually, I don’t even know what type of person I am anymore. I love both humanities and science. I love my language too. I think I really like to study. Even though it sucks and its stressful and tiring and makes people go crazy. But the feeling of doing well in your exams? God, losing sleep for months, looking like crap with pimples all over your forehead and throwing random temper at your sister and making everyone around you pissed is totally worth it. That moment will tell you that everything you have suffered through is worth it. Best part? No one can ever take that away from you.

Now I say all this crap is probably because I know my results. Ptff right?

Well, once again, I am not so sure about myself again. Its different, I’m not talking about being promoted to Secondary 5 or getting into NP/SP anymore. I’m talking about Medical School. Not everyone can become a doctor, I am just not so sure if I can be one of them or I would always have to keep that thought hidden in the corner of my mind and not think about it for the rest of my life.

I told my friends before that being a musician is really awesome, being able to play an instrument is really cool and that not every tom dick harry can play the instrument but everyone can somehow sing (at least the national anthem). And I became a musician and I did quite a good job at it. However, I am unable to tell myself this when it comes to medical school.

I became a musician. Doctor? I don’t know.

I suppose I have to wait till Wednesday to know if I proceed a step further towards my dream or that I should put that dream forever to the back of my head and move on with life.

Random thought here: For me, I think I can stand being single for the rest of my life and live with it but I don’t think I can stand living a life if my career is not good. I just cannot, because I have to make my career my love life so as to fill up the space for that part of my life.

Doctor, why?

The thought of having a person’s life in my hands makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world and the look of the patient’s face when he/she is fully recovered is priceless. To heal people is what aspires me to become a doctor. To be able to stand front line in times of danger and saves countless lives is very noble and it will be super awesome to be able to be that person.

On the other hand, the thought of having a human being’s life in my hands scares the shit out of me. What if the patient dies in my hands? Does that make me a murderer? Will I be able to step out of that guilt? I don’t know.

But what I do know is that I am going to do whatever it takes to save the patient’s life because only then I can tell his/her family that I have done everything I could.

I am inspired to become a doctor ever since I’ve watched this Hong Kong Medical Drama called “妙手人心” when I was a kid.

It has always been my dream and it will always be my dream.

XOXO.

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Moments

I am really glad I had listen to my dad’s “advice” (more of telling) me to apply for Commonwealth Secondary School 5 years ago!

Because of that “advice”, I was able to make nice friends in class that pulled me into band. (not the main point and those people eventually left the band-.-)

& because of band, I was able to make two awesome BFFs! I love them. Of course,  practically my entire batch of band mates are my awesome friends too! They are all from the express stream and none of them outcast-ed me because of my stream, they make me feel as though I belong with them. That’s just one of the reason why I love to the bits! We make wonderful music (ahhh, not meaning the technicals and professional music thing la ah!), talk crap and laugh out loud together.

Upon graduation, the things I miss most isn’t the funny moments in lessons but the awesome moments that I had with my band mates in the small-pathetic-crampy-smelly band room!

I guess such experiences are once in  lifetime. I don’t think I’ll be able to get such moments in polytechnics or even in universities! (haha, hopefully can get in la okay!)

I will miss Commonwealth Secondary School! haha, the Smurf uniform!

‘O’ Levels 2010!

Okay this is weird. I am the batch of 2010 ‘O’ levels or 2011? Because I took my exams in 2010 but I received my results in 2011. -.- Someone that knows please rectify for me please!

I wouldn’t say I did extremely well for the O levels but it was pretty good for me. Apparently, not good enough for the course of my choice. Oh well.

Won’t post my results out though, I am pretty ashamed with my English results. Didn’t expect to get something like that. Worse, my cohort of 5N, not a single distinction! We totally throw our English teacher face. (If you wanna know my results can ask me)

Hmm, now the question is:
Polytechnic or Junior College?
Answer is pretty easy, POLYTECHNIC. (I can’t survive in JC lah please)

Singapore Polytechnic or Ngee Ann Polytechnic?
Woah, tough one. Both also can? haha.

I am keeping my fingers cross for the course of my choice.

PLEASE, LET ME GET INTO BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE. I AM ONLY ONE POINT AWAY!!! PLEASE!

P.S. I cried when I received my results. Seriously. In front of my two Class Mentors. I look at that ONE which I didn’t expect and I laughed and cried at the same time. I don’t think I am ever going to forget this feeling for the rest of my life.

P.P.S Hard work really does pay off at the end of the day.

I don’t need anything else besides my family, friends, school and MONEY. haha, yeap. Thats all it matters.

加油 people!

Oh & Congratulations my juniors: Jeremy, Melissa, Joshua  and Almas for making it to the board of distinctions!

A shout-out to all O level results takers:
Results not up to your expectations, its really not the end of the world. Look around the polytechnic courses! Will have a course for you!
Results awesome, GOOD FOR YOU! Study hard in the polytechnic course of your choice and see you in University! HAHAHAHA. (I sound as if I am in University already.)-Eh, hopefully horh!

Back to Chick-Flicks! BYE.